But, it doesn't mean we shy away from our work, just the fact that it exists. And, many people do, right? They say, "I don't want to participate." And they skirt opportunity, they skirt promotion, they skirt away from the big moments, right? We've all done it, I imagine. I have, I know it, and I recognize it. And, have done things about it, and continue to because we don't find it comfortable, or enjoyable to receive this perpetual or constant stream of criticism. We don't wish to be the lightning rod, so we avoid it, right? Many, many people do.
But I will say this. The path to everything you want and seek in your life, and the prosperity you seek in life, will require on some level for you to be face the music, as we say. To stand up and be that lightning rod. To move through those energies, and to have an impact, to provide value to the world, to share your ideas and perspectives, to hold your own space and vibrate in alignment with your greatest and highest good.
Even just a smile on your face could trigger someone who's unhappy. "Oh, look at that person. They're smiling over there. I hate it when people smile." I mean, that's not your problem. It doesn't mean you shouldn't walk around smiling, enjoying your life, right? That's stuff that has to do with them, and it has to do with experiences they've had, and the reasons they feel unhappy. But you can't do that work for them, and neither can I. I can't do the work for you. You have to do it for yourself, and we have to do it for ourselves, right?
So, when this type of energy comes at us, where are we at, who are we, what are we doing? Now, the deeper we are confident with ourselves, and with our path, and with our purpose, and the work we're doing, and the mission that we're on. Then, the more comfortable we feel with whatever comes at us, right? It's not necessarily going to deflect, or shake us up.
But, think of it this way. If we've been isolating ourselves for however long from people, because of criticism, or any sort of, we'll say negative pattern like that, that's come at us for a long time. And the first step we take back into the world, we wake up one day, we say, "Okay, I'm going to reenter this world. I'm going to go make a difference today." And the first person you run into snickers at you and says, "Ugh, what do you think you're doing?" Or something. I mean, imagine, right? If that's the first step you make back into participating into the world, and to the global community in an active way, and that's the first comment that you get.
Well first off, that's a reflection of you. It's a reflection of you mirroring back to yourself your own limitations, so that you can integrate and move past them. That's one, so keep that in mind. But two, I mean what's the initial potential reaction going to trigger, right? It could very well trigger you to just turn around and go back to where you were, right? And say, "Oh, forget it. Why am I even trying this today?" Right? Imagine that. That's a true thing, that happens for people. Maybe it happens for you. We cannot let that lead, or dictate, or dominate the way that we live our lives. So, we have to learn how to hold space, have to learn how to receive what is occurring with this type of a pattern, with these types of moments and events. And then, how to navigate and deal with them.
TAKE IT IN AND PUSH IT OUT
This is how I suggest you do that. Firstly, someone comes at you with criticism, okay? It could be about your image, it could be about the work you've done, it could be about your intentions, it could just be about the look on your face. I mean people ... Like, whatever right? That's their stuff, whatever triggers them.
But, we have a responsibility to receive it, and receive it in conscious and responsible ways. So that, it one, disarms the situation. Two, it does not dissuade us from doing our work, and fulfilling our life's path and purpose. And three, it allows us to carry on, continue our day without that impacting how we feel about ourselves. Our joy, peace, love, and happiness that we seek and enjoy in our lives and our world.
So, first thing, someone comes at you. It could be anything. They don't like the look of your face, they don't like the work you've done, they don't like whatever. Here's how we manage these things.
Firstly, we want to consider the source. Who is the person doing this? Do they have a pattern of being abusive to people? Is it just part of who they are, and present in their own lives? Remember, if this is the case, this is quite likely that they're unhappy with themselves, and it is a reflection of same. That is why they project this all over everyone else. Their lack of satisfaction, or their lack of enthusiasm for your presence or your work. So, consider the source, who is this coming from? Is it a colleague at work, is it a confidant, is it a business partner, is it a friend, is it a foe, right? Is it an interested party, or a disinterested party? Any of these types of people, got to consider where it's coming from.
Consider too, consider the message. In delivering the message, the messenger will do this in various ways. It's not always the way you think you should receive it, but we need to be listening for the message. Why are we receiving this criticism? Who is this criticism coming from, as we said. But then, why are we receiving this criticism? Are we meant to receive this? What are we supposed to take away from it? If we weren't supposed to take away anything from it, then we wouldn't be receiving it. So, what are we supposed to recognize and acknowledge from what is being shared?
It doesn't mean we need to take it on, but we should responsibility and consciously explore the message no matter how it's being delivered. If someone's yelling at me, that doesn't mean I need to sit there and be yelled at, right? I do deserve, as you do, as we all do, to be appropriately respected as human beings, and individuals. However, what is being said in the yelling? Between all the emotional triggers the messenger is feeling and delivering the message that is channeling through them. Are there kernels of wisdom and insight that are actually reasonable to accept?
Oh, you know what? That's a good point, right? If they're saying, "Oh, you know. This guy, this actor, da, da, da, da, da. His performances are so flat. Da, da, da, da, da," right? "In this example ... Here's a great example. In this scene, "Da, da, da, da. They should have played it this way and done it this thing." Okay, well that's interesting. It's one thing to just criticize me, or criticize someone else as a shitty actor per se, right? Or a shitty, whatever, employee or what have you.
But, consider the message within that delivery, which is not the best way to deliver that. Let's just give them the benefit of the doubt, that maybe they just don't know how to deliver messages responsibility. They haven't learned that for themselves yet, so it comes out as anger, and emotion, and all this resentment, and all this sort of stuff. But, what is the actual message? If there are kernels of wisdom and insight in the message. We, as receivers should do our part to find them. Because, they are constructive, they are just being poorly delivered. So, in alignment with our delivery of our work, and fulfillment, and achievement of our mission and missions that we are on. Which, is part of our purpose, right?
And, I'll say this again. In alignment with our greatest and highest good. So, we need to explore what those are. Sometimes when people come at us, and they're all aggressive, and angry and whatever. How do we disarm them, as opposed to meeting them there? We often meet people there, and then just yell back, right? What value does that create? There's a great line in this script that I read the other day and it says, "If we both take up arms, we all lose." Think of that, right?
If someone's yelling at us, if I yell ... Or, yelling at you, or yelling at us, or similar. And I yell back; Who does that serve? It doesn't serve either of us. I can yell back, and sometimes to hold the space it's appropriate to speak firmly to disarm that circumstance and situation, and hold our space without being bullied and overrun. But at the same time, just yelling back creates conflict and continues to muddy the message of what is actually being said.
And so, take this in all context, right? This is in person, this could be socially, online, in comments on social media. This could be publicly on a blog, or in a news article, or a publication. It could be in an interoffice email, it could be at the water cooler in your office, it could be from a customer, at a restaurant. It could be anything like this. Contextualize it as it relates to your own world and life, but how do you respond to that is the next thing you need to consider.
Because, we have considered the source, so does the source have value? Do they have experience, do they have legitimacy in sharing what they're sharing? Consider the message. Where is the kernel of insight and wisdom that we are meant to receive from what is being said, even though we really don't necessarily like how we are receiving it? Then consider the response. Do I just react and meet them with argumentative matching, or do I disarm the individual or individuals? Do I acknowledge them? Many people just like to be heard, so do we acknowledge that they're being heard? Is it warranted for them to be heard? There's certain levels that we do not need to accept.
I heard, or I received a note yesterday as an example, which is part of the inspiration for this piece, right? It was somebody just saying, "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." As part of my response, my reaction. "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." And criticizing me, just maybe I won't go too specific on it. But, criticizing me about some sort of activity that's occurred in one of the ventures I'm involved with, that I've had absolutely nothing to do with.
Now, to this person, they have done little to no homework on my involvement, or what my involvement might be in that circumstance. It's their perception of a pattern that they think, that they get to speak to me that way. I mean it's like, give your head a shake, right? I mean, where are you coming from? No, you don't have that right. But, an example, so does that warrant a response? I mean, not really, right? I don't need to meet someone there, who just out of the blue decides to land base me about something I have absolutely zero involvement in or anything to do with. That's not my problem. That's your lack of actual exploration. Your process of discovery would be to ask me a question as to whether that would be something I am involved in, or had influence over, or what my perspectives on that are. As opposed to just out of the blue, them being triggered and reacting to me, and giving me their own hostile energy about it.
So, what's the response? Sometimes no response is great. Sometimes a matching response is appropriate just to hold your own space, because nobody deserves or needs to be bullied. So, to firmly, clearly, and articulately say, "Excuse me. If there's something you'd like to say, I am happy to receive it. That is constructive or related to the work that I'm doing specifically. But not in the tone you're delivering it, not with the emotional attachment to what you're suggesting. And I will take that under consideration."