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  • How to Succeed on Your Own Terms for More Fulfilling Results

    17 min read

    How to Succeed on Your Own Terms for More Fulfilling Results

    It's so interesting, you know. Relationships, business partners, investor sentiment and psychology and emotions tied to all of these, with respect to us and our journeys, the way we behave and the way we sense and feel related to the things we're involved in or not or the things we leave or not.


    Have you ever picked up this vibe that people have that they're like, I'm gone, I'm out here and you're not good enough and this is not making me feel good enough and I'm not happy here. This whole drama play-out of these projected suggestions that it's not them, it's you, it's not you, it's me, coming from you, which is so interesting, right? Not necessarily you personally in this context, but this is an example of the dynamic, that people seem to have this vindictive spiteful energy to people about the things they're involved in and the life they have and the experiences they have.

    When you have a relationship or a partnership that doesn't really work out and it's like, you're not good enough and you're not meeting all my standards, and this isn't working and so on, so I'm out of here, instead of thinking hey, maybe we just don't see eye to eye and maybe we're just not on the same path.

    Hey, that's cool, you're still fantastic, and I love you, and you know what, I know I'm loved as well, and we love each other enough to know that we should both be feeling a certain way, and that this isn't it.

    Frustration’s valid, anger is valid, these are true emotions. We hold space for them, we allow them to be expressed in the way they need to be expressed, and we allow people to move through them.

    You know, where we want ourselves to feel a certain way, and we have to work on it, or it isn't it. So interesting, I find, that I just see these patterns that people bring up that they get to these limits of just such fatigue or such anger, frustration, or irritation with people, and things about it. What is the root, you know, about, not it, but about things, right? About business, about relationships, about investments, all kinds of stuff. About the government or whatever, I don't know, pick something, there's just all this you-you-you, right? This, anger and frustration with it.

    But deeper than that, because some of those things can still be valid, frustration's valid, anger is valid, these are true emotions. We hold space for them, we allow them to be expressed in the way they need to be expressed, and we allow people to move through them, which is usually the need to be heard or want to believe. But, to see what is true through that emotional state and to consider what is true of that emotional state and how it impacts and forms the next steps in our world and our journey.


    But isn't it interesting, I find, just observing people's behaviors, which I've generally done and don't feel weirded out or afraid or whatever. I've just been an aware spirited person for a long time, that I've just really come back to observe people's mannerisms and how they behave and what they're triggered by and all that sort of stuff. Usually these reactions and these projections are a function of people's unhappiness with themselves and where they're at and where they want to go. The best thing I'll say, this isn't where I want to be, I'm going to go be somewhere else and I wish you the best, the worst of us who just aren't even better or worse, per se, but let's just say maybe less experienced in managing their own emotional states or recognizing them, say, beat it, whatever you're just the worst in my life and they project all of their crap onto you, right?

    It's so interesting in business and relationships and in investments and otherwise, how people seem to just get so worked up about these things. However, when they leave, there's this fascinating behavior, I find, that people carry, that they have, that is about if I've left you, or if I leave this, you will fail. And they wait for it. I've watched people, I see people, and as they deal with me, as well. I watch them, choose what they choose, and I watch them make these choices from whatever emotional state they're in or seeming sense of logic they're in, and to each their own. Different financial circumstances or different business philosophies or different expectations in their world, their path, their journey, but you know, they do these things like, I'm out of here, you know, big drama, big scene, often, it's this whole, I'm not doing this anymore, and whatever. And then because you don't have me or I'm not here anymore or similar, you're done, you're destined to fail, you're going to crash and burn, right?


    And you know, I just wanted to draw some awareness today to this pattern of behavior that I witnessed over and over again in people and say, no I'm not, right? And neither are you going to fail in departure of a relationship or investor or a business partnership or similar. It's black magic, I would suggest, to wish upon someone else the ill will, right, or an ill will towards another in and along their journey. And what people don't realize is that when they do that, whether intentionally or unintentionally, what they're actually doing is calling back the mirror unto themselves, right?

    That if you project, I'm out here because you're this, whatever, and that, that's one thing. Big drama and let them figure out their own journey. But if you're projecting onto them unconsciously, even, or otherwise that because you're gone, something is not going to occur for them or is not going to go well for them or work out for them, then you're getting that same energy back and karmically, which is not hard to spot even if you wish to consider the philosophies of karma and reciprocation in your world, just give it a breath of demonstration in your life, day-to-day, even just consider how karma works, and watch it unfold in the simplest of items, right?

    What you give out, you receive.

    Karma is a principal that is universal, so it's in all areas of your life. What you give out, you receive, and so when you do this, watch for, or when you do anything, watch for the reaction. Some people that are reasonably awoken, much like I am in these different areas and not as a buzzword but as an actual awareness to see patterns and magic and synchronicities in our world which are not unique. Side-note,  as I digress, not unique to just some of us but are common and available to all of us, should we seek to see it or should we seek to look for it or consider it. Just watch these micro or macro actions and reactions and how they reciprocate back unto you as a function of what you've sent out as a dart or a laser or a spear of attack of some level energetically to someone else.

    Watch these micro or macro actions and reactions and how they reciprocate back unto you as a function of what you’ve sent out.

    And you know, I see them and feel them regularly all the time. What I've also learned to do is, when they're major-major psychic attacks, I know how to lay low, and when they're minor, they kind of just are deflected off. I recognize them for what they are, they're reflections of yourselves or other people. They're not reflections of myself or ourselves, I listen for messages in those of insight, of genuine insight through the noise and the potential drama that comes with the messenger.


    Because I'm always open, I always welcome to feedback, I'm on a journey of self-improvement much like everyone else. I'm an expert, an amateur at all times of my life, just simply in different areas, right? And so, I'm always open to receiving, but I'm also always just cognizant and watching for what parts of those to just release and let go. And even if that's coming at me, I don't project back ill will or harm. I wish for the best for all people, I wish people to find peace, love, joy, happiness, abundance, and all the magic they seek for themselves in their world. Every step I take, I am cognizant of this. My eyes are open, I watch for it, and I embrace it, and I'm grateful for that, and I feel blessed for that in my world and my journey.

    When someone comes at me like that, right, and dealing in the markets and dealing with start-ups and dealing with money and dealing with relationships on a conscious level. Not always, it just depends on who, how connected, business partnerships, what have you, it's so fascinating to me that people have this suggestion or this inner personal belief that if they leave the partnership or the relationship or their investment and sell their investment in the company that I'm building or what have you, that the company's going to die, That my future is going to be a ball of tears and a mess, that I will never succeed in business, as a function of the fact that they are not a part of it anymore.

    It's amazing how many people I've come across that actually seem to believe that, and for me, my success and my journey and the opportunity I've built for myself is not about proving those people wrong or those entities wrong. Groups or networks or whatever it is, that is projecting similar suggestion or energy at me or could be doing the same to you.

    It's about just doing the best you can and building the best you can in the moment with everything you have, but recognizing, and this is so important, that no matter what you're going through, no matter what you're experiencing on this level, people projecting whatever it is at you, you have a choice. You either hear the message within that, that is a guide for improvement and you integrate, and we all integrate into our journey and our lives and say thank you for the blessing of the message, or we don't.  If we don't, it can usually lead to some sort of separation of partnership or similar or connection because of it. It's up to us, but of course, at the same time, there's only so much we can control.

    It’s about just doing the best you can and building the best you can in the moment with everything you have.

    I mean, if someone's expectation is through the moon about what is happening with your business or in the markets or in your relationship and they're holding this frame up above the person you're supposed to be versus the person that you are. You're trying every day to live up to that standard, and it might not just be who you are, right? Are you going to let yourself feel unhappy or ashamed or bad about those suggestions that you need to be this that and the other thing, because this is who we say you're supposed to be, or this is what this is supposed to become?


    I mean, we're on a path. That's the thing we need to remember. We're on a path, and so we will continue on path, with or without these people, and we're in alignment with our path, our purpose, our journey. That happens in the divine timing that is in alignment with the wishes of the universe, the universe which is a reflection of us, the vibrational projection of ourselves into the universe of what we seek in that reciprocal, that's one with itself.

    So, us wanting that, as it feels right in the divine timing that we find appropriate for our journeys and missions will align. It's one thing if your intentions aren't pure, right? If your intentions in relationships or business or in the market are not pure, I tell you as I sit here, they will be unveiled as such. People see this, they pick up on this, they are watching for that. People are looking for reasons not to participate with other people, there is a fear-based layer there of protection that has heightened senses and instinct, and I've developed those quite acutely over my lifetime.

    I feel that one of my greatest strengths in business and otherwise is my ability to see and read those people, spirits, groups and intentions around me and filter them accordingly to make sure that those who are around me have the best of intentions, and those that have still not proven that to be the case are kept on notice with me. They're kept on a buffer as it relates to having inner access to my deepest ideas, strategies and abilities and what have you. They're on watch until I trust them, and trust is earned in that respect as provided, right?

    Us wanting that, as it feels right in the divine timing that we find appropriate for our journeys and missions will align.

    Or not, I mean, I don't hold my breath for it all day either. But I will assure you this, that this pattern of thinking, I've sold your stock, right, and now because I sold your stock, I want to see your company fail, Well, guess what. Beat it. It's not going to happen, right? I've been through more crap, we'll say, and I'm just trying to keep this a bit PG for the segment here, I don't need to get into some sort cursing like a sailor tirade, but I've been through more things here in my life than the Beatles. I've been through a lot of really far-out stuff that many people have not.


    I have made big money and I have lost big money, and I have made big money back again. These are major swings.

    I'll tell you. I've had a gun to my head. I've been held hostage. Full-on hostage. Hands and knees, SWAT team surrounded, the real deal. It's a movie in its own right. It was unreal, truly that happened, and that is something I've been through. It's amazing what you learn about yourself when you go through such a circumstance. I have made big money and I have lost big money, and I have made big money back again. These are major swings. I've been flashy Manhattan high-rolling, all the stuff you can think of, suits and ties and big making it rain bottle-service nightclubs, that whole show, right? And I've been the opposite of that, which is like, you know, flip-flops, barefoot in the middle of a village in who knows where, I'm just actually really cool and minimalist styles of living, which are the real opposite suggestion of what that other lifestyle is, right?

    But riding those waves, what do you learn about yourself? I faced, stared down, and rode out and lived through the aftermath of a category four hurricane. Was a direct hit on a community I was living in, like smoked us. Unbelievable, but the storm, as far out and crazy as it was, and I'll never forget. It was surreal. Still, it was only a part of what occurred when you saw and I saw the way people behaved and what occurred socially, communally in the days after, both the positive and the negative. I mean, no power, no water, no food, no access to money, you know, no basic resources, looting starting at first light the next morning, armed gangs patrolling and roaming the streets, robbing people at gunpoint, patrolling at night with a machete and a flashlight in my hand to help protect our streets and community, using cars to blockade roads and burning trash in the street.

    I'm telling you, these are only just some of the experiences, but they're on the list of the things that I personally have been through, and the question for you is, what have you been through in your life, the highs and lows and the greatest challenges you've faced? And that you have not only faced, but you have lived through and succeeded through and surpassed as a spirit, as an individual, as a dreamer, someone with a vision for their life and world. Who has been there and who has not been there, but at the end of the day, who is always still there, and that person that is always still there is you.

    Through all those things I've been through and more that are still not even mentioned here, you know, because the list goes on, these are me moving through myself, reflections of me moving through myself, and I, through them, stood and faced them and face them still as when and where it required, and I know who I am as a function of them.

    What have you been through in your life, the highs and lows and the greatest challenges you’ve faced?

    People who come in and out of my life, spirits that come and go and their connection to expectation, whatever drama or all their blockages or excuses or whatever, and their projected intent to shame or to harm or to curse my journey, fail. They will continue to fail, and they will not impede me from continuing along my path. In alignment with my purpose, to provide and share my gifts, ideas, visions and magic with the world that I believe I am a part of. Just as much as you are called to bring and contribute to the world in alignment with all of our greatest and highest goods, right?

    It's that, right? Through any of these challenges, people come and they go and despite this amusing element that they seem to think, when they leave, that we're going to fail and that for them. It's their selfish request, that they want to know that, well, because you left, it's going to fail, because for them and their egos, it allows to feel that they've made the right choice by letting you go. But what frustrates people the most is when you don't fail, right? We are that resilient, inherently in our beings.


    I am more than that resilient in my being, and you know, I come with strong and clear intention, and I find the way. It's a secret of my success and ongoing and still to come success. The resilience of finding the way of continuing to listen through the biggest darkest craziest storms and the greatest challenges and the largest hurdles, and just staying the course and staying in it when you know in your heart and in your gut, in alignment with your path and purpose, that you're on the right path. That other people can't sway you from that, as much as they seem to want to try.

    We are that resilient, inherently in our beings.

    I mean, remember this is the universe testing your resolve. This is the universe poking at you to see how serious and committed you are to what you're doing.  If you know it to be true and you know it to be right, then all you need to do is keep going, and the universe is going to look after you, right?

    And you, as well, are going to look after yourself, and those who are with you are invited with you and those who are not do not need to be there. We release them, we let them go, we don't send them any ill will, we wish them the best. They'll see, and we can't make those choices for other people. We try to, but we can't, right?

    Whether you're an investor in a company I'm involved in, whether you're a business partner in a business we’re involved in, whether we're in a relationship together or exploring that, and it just didn't work out, like, hey, it's cool, right? Do what's best for you in alignment with your own personal best interests, but in our mutual interest, rest assured that my intentions are pure.

    The ultimate realization of the journey, the missions and adventures I'm involved in will be successful on all levels. Success, as far as I define it has multiple milestones and levels. The universe seeks for me to succeed on these levels, all kinds of different fantastic ways that are equally in alignment with the visions I seek. Simply because I ask for same of the universe, truthfully and honestly to it, which it responds truthfully and honestly back with those things I need, resources, tools, you name it, people, places, things.

    Success, as far as I define it has multiple milestones and levels.

    Just like it does for you, if you let in, right? It's just fascinating to me, and I thought it was a nice thing to talk about today, about how this affects me.  How it's likely also affecting you as you feel those energies around you and sometimes you wonder; am I on the right path?  am I doing the right thing? these people are putting heat on me, these people are doing this that and the other thing. Remember, if your intentions and your work are not pure, there are those with experience and deep levels of awareness and wizardry, whether they call it that or not, who will be able to sense and recognize that your intentions are not pure.

    But if your intentions are pure in the journey that you're on and you bring positivity to your spirit, then all the resources you require to realize success and fulfill your mission and missions in alignment with this path that you're on for yourself will materialize and be realized. It's just that simple. We release those who don't believe, you know, those who don't believe, you are released. Those who do believe, you are welcome to join, and in that speed, if those who did not believe come back later because they've changed their mind and they believe in this, then yeah, that's great, our belief in ourselves hasn't changed, my belief in myself never wavers, never changed, never changes, I trust and I resiliently continue one step at a time even if I am alone, knowing that is the right path and that I'm in alignment with my path and purpose in that work. I have no problem going it alone if need be.

    If your intentions are pure in the journey that you’re on and you bring positivity to your spirit, all the resources you require to realize success and fulfill your mission will materialize and be realized.

    Maybe those who even come back, you're welcome back when you feel it's appropriate to come back. I suggest sitting back and watching it play out to get a feel for my style and how that works, if that feels right for you as well. That's up to you. But it's how I roll, and I know what I'm doing. History will be the record of that, as it is already to date, and with that confidence in my present, guides the potential of everything I do in the future. Those who've worked closely with me know I've said it, know the calls I've made, and know they've seen those realized in ways that have absolutely, transformatively, completely on multiple levels, improved and yeah, we'll say it again, improved and transformed for the better of their lives. That's the work, right? That's part of the gift.

    And that's part of what I bring to everything I do, and that's where, in performance, in acting, which I'm developing the skills and tools to be able to bring at that macro level to the world. Through start-ups and public companies that I actively participate in, finance, help finance, help steer, guide and build, and any other levels, relationships, all of these things. I go into the world with an intention to help people be better and bring them up and empower people in themselves to be better by the experience of being with me. To feel better, to be better, to develop more confidence, to develop more strength, develop greater vision, to move efficiently, to realize objectives, all kinds of different things and levels and realizations that come from that. That's my intention, and so shall your experience be through your connection with me.

    I feel very confident in my path and I just move forward one step at a time. Everything else will look after itself.

    Take that to heart, wherever you're at in your own journey, integrate some of these insights and messages as you will and as they are valuable for you, and we'll keep flowing, right?

    As I said, time will reveal all, trust in the good work I'm doing and we're doing, and you'll see and I'll show you. I'm here to show the insights, the methodologies, the techniques, strategies and all this good stuff. I'm traditional, I'm esoteric-esque level, you know, a philosophical level that I bring to everything I do, an energetic level to everything I do and what I bring. You too can realize and recognize some of all this magic for yourself and those around you as well.

    With this said, amazing piece on people letting you go, people thinking that in their projections, their cursing, what have you, that you're still not going to make it where you're meant to be, which is a major fallacy, so don't receive it. Carry on with it and keep rocking and rolling in all the great things you do.

    If you dug this segment, like, comment, share, let me know what you think, more to come, this is fresh and raw Chad McMillian, Episode Five, I believe, and plenty more good stuff to come, so we'll chat with you soon. All right, have a good one.

    Chad McMillan
    Chad McMillan

    Chad McMillan is an independent venture capitalist and creative artist focused on personal growth and exponential entrepreneurship. Connect with Chad at chad@chadmc.com.

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